Blog of Substance

I don't know if anyone will ever read this, or read anything I've ever posted here...but, I think people blog or whatever to send something out into cyber space just because they need to. You know? I think the fact that if people actually read it or not is irrelevant, as long as they said it. And it's avaiable for whoever stumbles upon it. So, I guess I'll join the blogging crowd and finally send something of substance out into the realm of computers in hopes that no one actually reads it and if they do, then they can relate or at least---actually. No. I'm writing because I can. And it's my blog. So why the hell not? So with that said. I think I've come to an excellent conclusion. (Possibly prompting my "Blog of Substance." Decide for yourself) Everyone can make a mess of things. And I feel like at some point, it doesn't really matter where or when it happens because it always does, you look back and you sort of sigh (maybe shrug) and go, "Oh shit." I'm pretty sure this moment always happens when you're looking back on something or some moment or period of time in your life and it's always AFTER you've already gone and mussed everything up. The horrible thing is: there's nothing you can do. Once you've done something, said something, thrown an opporunity away, hung onto an option that wasn't really there, acted on instint, or didn't act at all...whatever. That moment is gone. And what you're left with is the consequences or after math (for you positivists) of what happened. I feel like for me, I don't really realize anything at all until way after the situation. I slowly plug away doing shitty things, digging holes and I think somewhere in my mind---I know I'm doing this. Why am I doing this? This is going to bite me in the ass later! But, do it anyways. So my question is: is there a way of untangling things? I mean, really sorting through things? We all know that phrase "Starting Over/Fresh/New" is just a bunch of bullshit. You can't change anything that happened. It's there. Forever etched in your memory or someone elses. Things always find a way of coming back and flitering back into our lives. So how do you reconcile with it? Is reconciling with it all you can do? Shrug your shoulders, shake your head, have a moment of silence for mistakes that have piled up---and move on? I don't know. But I do know everyone worries. About something. I think my biggest worry (not fear, but worry) is that I won't ever be able to hang tough with my mistake and consequences. I'm sure there's a learning curve somewhere and I'll get there. In the mean time, I think that finding inner peace, true inner peace, is something worth achieving. That's all that happiness really is...right?