Overwhelmed

Alright so I guess another blog just to say something. I saw this quote the other day and I thought I'd share it with the masses:

"Man has a limited biological capacity for change. When this capacity is overwhelmed, the capacity is in future shock." ---Alvin Toffler

How true is that? Rhetorical question. It's incredibly true. I feel like every time there is a shift or a change in my life, I get unbelievably overwhelmed with self doubt that I just stop. I shut down. I go, for lack of a better term, into "shock". I feel like every question I had about why I do this--has been answered in two sentences. Biological or not, every time I go into system overload...I get stunned and just need time to regroup. More often than not, I don't have enough (or feel like I don't) time to react to life's little bitch slap. And since life is a perpetual change, maybe that's why I feel like I'm in constant shock. Right when I get settled in, something shifts and there I am...adjusting. Shocked, but alert.

Clarity

"As you become more clear about who you really are, you'll be better able to decide what is best for you---the first time around."

Blog of Substance

I don't know if anyone will ever read this, or read anything I've ever posted here...but, I think people blog or whatever to send something out into cyber space just because they need to. You know? I think the fact that if people actually read it or not is irrelevant, as long as they said it. And it's avaiable for whoever stumbles upon it. So, I guess I'll join the blogging crowd and finally send something of substance out into the realm of computers in hopes that no one actually reads it and if they do, then they can relate or at least---actually. No. I'm writing because I can. And it's my blog. So why the hell not? So with that said. I think I've come to an excellent conclusion. (Possibly prompting my "Blog of Substance." Decide for yourself) Everyone can make a mess of things. And I feel like at some point, it doesn't really matter where or when it happens because it always does, you look back and you sort of sigh (maybe shrug) and go, "Oh shit." I'm pretty sure this moment always happens when you're looking back on something or some moment or period of time in your life and it's always AFTER you've already gone and mussed everything up. The horrible thing is: there's nothing you can do. Once you've done something, said something, thrown an opporunity away, hung onto an option that wasn't really there, acted on instint, or didn't act at all...whatever. That moment is gone. And what you're left with is the consequences or after math (for you positivists) of what happened. I feel like for me, I don't really realize anything at all until way after the situation. I slowly plug away doing shitty things, digging holes and I think somewhere in my mind---I know I'm doing this. Why am I doing this? This is going to bite me in the ass later! But, do it anyways. So my question is: is there a way of untangling things? I mean, really sorting through things? We all know that phrase "Starting Over/Fresh/New" is just a bunch of bullshit. You can't change anything that happened. It's there. Forever etched in your memory or someone elses. Things always find a way of coming back and flitering back into our lives. So how do you reconcile with it? Is reconciling with it all you can do? Shrug your shoulders, shake your head, have a moment of silence for mistakes that have piled up---and move on? I don't know. But I do know everyone worries. About something. I think my biggest worry (not fear, but worry) is that I won't ever be able to hang tough with my mistake and consequences. I'm sure there's a learning curve somewhere and I'll get there. In the mean time, I think that finding inner peace, true inner peace, is something worth achieving. That's all that happiness really is...right?

This is a story of boy meets girl. But you should know up front, this is not a love story.

"You can't ascribe great cosmic significance to a simple earthly event. Coincidence, that's all anything ever is, nothing more than coincidence. There are no miracles. There's no such thing as fate, nothing is meant to be...he knew, he was sure of it now."

Breathe

Feather In The Wind

Gliding on the summerwind,
waiting for the break of dawn.

Hiding love has found an end,
now we know what's going on.

Give way these wings,
a heavy heart of mine.

Suddenly life seems to be,
a feather in the wind.

Don't Ever Blame A Change

Sometimes it is the smallest decisions that make the biggest impacts on our lives. For everything you've missed, you've gained something. We change, whether we like it or not. So, when we find someone who will laugh with us at the madness, cry with us at the sadness ---we should hold onto them with everything we've got.

Change is in the Air

"They always say TIME changes things, but you actually have to change them for YOURSELF." -Andy Warhol